Escape Back to Ferryport Landing
by NeverTrustACrookedMirror
Summary: As if struggling to fit into a Teenage Human world while being a teenage FAIRY wasn't hard enough, but now girls, love, and a promise he has to keep is going to make it even harder for Puck. Will a 1000year old price to pay be the end? Or will he escape?
1. Chapter 1: It Begins

**OKAY! Quick question... why do I always do Author's Notes about NOTHING? Just give the word and I'll stop... maybe... anyway:**

**I do not, I repeat, DO NOT own the Sisters Grimm, New York City, Garage, M●A●C, etc.., however, I DO own the new OOC Puck, Daphne, and Sabrina. Yay for me, right? Right. So... yes. **

**Um... hi, how are you? I like Fanfiction.**

**So before we begin totally I'd like to explain what's going on here. This story is Puck's POV, and sometimes Sabrina's and Daphne's, but on rare occasions. Oh! And also random POVs from Mr. Sh-nuggles**

**The setting is in (DUH) NYC and it goes back and forth between a to a school, Faerie and a apartment. Some other places, of course, but these are the main places.**

**We've got a wide collection of characters here, but some of them I want, nay, I NEED to be a surprise, so here are the ones that won't really matter if they make people go "She should've saved that for later.";**

**-Puck Goodfellow: The not-so royal King who is starring in this dramatic-fantastic story! **

**-Daphne Grimm: The next main character who is a little less than sunny.**

**-Sabrina Grimm: The girl who likes to hog the spotlight! I may as well say she's a main character, too.**

**-Mustardseed Goodfellow (?): THAT'S RIGHT! You finally get to see his REAL self! Aren't you excited? I am! It'll be interesting to write about another blonde fairy. I hope I make him innocent enough.**

**AND that's about it for non-surprises. (Did you notice "G, G, G, G?)**

**So enjoy!**

**Also, P/D P/S M/S**

***Burst Your Bubble Gum is not a real potion-gum. So do not try to find it.**

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**_L_**aying on my canopy-bed up, staring at nothing, thinking about everything... aaaahhhh, the perfect way to waste the day!

_Hey, that rhymes! _

I am so glad that "_Dad" _decided to bring back some furniture from the old Faerie.

Years and years of history... not that I'm _in _to history or anything like that...

Ever since escaping Ferryport Landng I've been... not me. Which is why my canopy-bed is my favourite thing ever.** (*Actually, his Burst Your Bubble Gum™* is his favourite) **It almost feels like it seems like all my thoughts are trapped in it. Which is good 'cause I know I wouldn't want _**some people** _to know what I've been thinking about. Like: "_My god that lady over there is ugly!" _and "_I don't care if it's just a mole on an ugly guy, it _LOOKS_ like it's going to eat me!"_

So, that's why my canopy-bed is my favourite.

As soon as I sat up there was a knock on my door, and I knew who it was right away.

"If you don't come out right now I am going to tell Mum that you died and I'll make her bury you _with _Moth!" Mustardseed groaned.

I smiled. "We had another movie moment!"

Another groan from Mr. Uptight. "Don't change the subject, Puck! Get out here now! I'm not doing you're job _**again** _today!"

_Huh?_

"What do you mean? You wanted to do the King's paperwork! You never do the undercover stuff!" I said.

Some cursing from Mustardseed and then "Just get out here please."

I looked down at myself. I was wearing pants that I had been wearing for five days straight and a shirt that should've been thrown out years ago. I was perfectly read to take on School, but I knew if I left my room looking like myself, I'd p- tick off Mustardseed and Mum, which I didn't want to do... right now.

"I'm not dressed." I replied. _Good save, Puck. Thanks._

"Come on, Puck," he grunted. "I know you don't want to do work today, but-"

"Damn right!" I shouted.

"-but if you don't, you'll regret it." He said.

"Is that your tough guy talk?" I taunted. One thing he should know about me by now. It's not a piece of cake to get me to fall into an insecure state.

**Flashback: "So? What do I call you now? Your majesty?" "You should have been calling me that all along." "What you said was very nice." "My mother wrote it for me. She didn't care too much for what I came up with myself." "There's no one here now. Why don't you go ahead with your version?" "... My father was mean, arrogant, horrible, and selfish. He cared little for anyone and less for those who disagreed with him. His only love was for his precious kingdom... I HATED YOU! YOU TOOK EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO REMIND ME THAT I WAS WEAK AND STUPID! **sob, sob** When I was barely out of diapers he took me aside and told me I would never be king. He said I was a disappointment to him and he would never give up his throne to me. I went to my mother in tears and she explained him to me. She said he was worried about the kingdom's future and feared that his successor would destroy it-even if that successor was his own son. But my mother swore that one day I would wear the crown, and he would never see it coming. Until then, I would have my own kingdom. Then she gave me my name: the Trickster King. I've worn it proudly ever since. When I got older he tried to force me to marry Moth. So I told the old man he was nuts. Disobeying your father is a crime in our world. He banished me. But, here I am, the King of Faerie anyway. My mother was right. He never saw it coming... If you tell anyone I was crying, you'll regret it, pus-brain." "I won't tell, stinkpot."**

_Who was that girl?_

"JUST GET OUT HERE!" He yelled. I guess I can let him win just this once. "And get changed!"

I heard him walk away and I signed.

I remember when things got bad- well, worse than it was- in Ferryport Landing. Charming thought that the Scarlet Hand was over, but he didn't know that there were other groups of them all over the world. Luckily, they got trapped in the barrier when they came to take us over. Lots of Everafters couldn't leave Ferryport hence they were hostages of the Scarlet Hand.

The ones that could, _had _to leave to protect the rest of the world. The list of Everafters taking on such a dangerous task were little, but they make all the difference.

Snow White, Goldi Locks (and the three bears), many talking animals, Mermaids, Mermen, etc, and me. I can't remember who I was with, or where I was when I go the letter, but I remember the feeling I got when I did.

I knew taking this task would be extremely dangerous and that I'd probably die, but I couldn't do anything about it.

After I left, there was a flow of Forgetful Dust in the town to erase all the chaos fromthe humans. Charming had to do the very thing that The Queen of Hearts did, send a ridiculous tax to all humans so they could leave and be out of harms way. Ferryport Landing was somehow taken off the map, and with the very same magic that protects Faerie, Ferryport Landing was basically did not exist anymore.

I wasn't alone when I left. Snow and I get assigned to the same place, New York.

We were lucky we got the Big Apple. Some Everafters got some pretty boring places (like the Pacific Ocean). Although I was very jealous of the Scarecrow when he announced he was going to Costa Rica. I'd much rather be somewhere warm.

I picked out my outfit for the next month- uhh, I mean today. Some jeans I think I got at... uhh... somewhere. They seem really small for me, but the Emo kid at the store said it was "_in". _I picked black 'cause they seemed less girly.

A shirt which I don't even remember buying... actually, I think it's Mustardseed's. Either way, I'm wearing it.

My good ol' Chuck Taylors and my F-A-V-O-U-R-I-T-E green hoodie!

After about fifteen minutes of eyeing myself in the mirror, I gathered stuff I need for a day of... HIGH SCHOOL!

Yep, that's what it said. Mum likes to stick sticky notes on everything I own to remind me of what my "Mission" (she likes saying that for some reason) is. Although, to be quite honest, I can't remember what that is exactly. I think it has something to do with spying on someone. I'm hoping if it is, it'll be the Lunch-Chump 'cause, I'm starving. Now,the rules for my "missions" are quite simple. Spy and don't get caught. Blend in and don't stand out. The first one, no problem, but I have a difficult time "blending in." You'd think, "Oooh hey! Puck seems like someone who could fit in! He _is _a fairy after all!" but I can't. A little less so now, but when I was 11-13 it was horrible. But, three years later, I have a little more... eh, a little more experience with the whole thing. Hahaha, the first time I did a "mission" I couldn't tell my shoe from important evidence. I admit, I wasn't very good. But, just like everyone else, I get better with more practice. Do you think I could fight dragons with a wooden sword right off the bat? Well... yes, I could, but that's not the point. I couldn't spell hippopotomous when I was first born! It took practice... *hippoptamus... ARGH! H-I-P-P-O-P-O-T-A-M-U-S! There... see? I still need practice. And, if you need more proof, you should see me try to spell that ridiculous word that that Mary Poppins lady says... seriously, I can't do it. But enough about misspellings and my disabilities. I guess I should kind of tell you what I have been doing for the last four years. Whoever "You" is. And, why am I telling "You" this even though _I _already know it.

Okay, so appearently (See? Another one) you've been watching me since I was eleven and in Ferryport Landing, so obviously, "You" (whoever that is) know everything already, but I'll refresh your... okay, I'm starting to freak myself out with this Talking to Myself in my Head thing. So, anyway, while I walk down the horribly long hallway to The Golden Egg, backpack over one shoulder and getting used to my Nearly Six-Foot height... wondering where my life went wrong, I'm just going to remember all of the years in Ferryport Landing. Well, not _all_ of them, but just little clippettes, and... I'm doing it again. Anyway, the last thing I remember is... well, leaving for New York. It was raining, but what else is new in Ferryport? I was looking at someone, some people... this one, an elder, she was crying and calling me "Sapling"... no, something like... "Lively" or "Liveling", anyway, something like that. She was hugging me like crazy. Everyone else there seemed sad, but only that lady and a girl -I don't remember what she looks like- is crying as well. She's saying "See you later, Puke" and trying to smile, but is crying too hard. Wow, sappy. There's a lot of other Everafters there, saying goodbye to Snow and I.

We get on the train and I look back at the girl who called me "Puke" and I said "You're dead to me" and she laughed. Well... whoever she is/was we seemed to be friends.

Hmm... I wonder if she's good looking and is _really _missing me, maybe... PUCK! What? Oh... sorry, I'm sixteen, remember? Which, sucks. I miss eleven. Twelve was okay, but kind of weird, thirteen was a blur, fourteen same, fifteen was busy and sixteen is really embarrassing. I don't remember it being. But, then again, that was four-thousand-years ago. Plus, with all the pollution in the Twenty-First century it's no wonder Teenagers are dirty-minded freaks. Seriously! Does the world really need THAT many Barbies and Tickle-Me-Elmos or Bakugan factories ruining our home? No! Why, when I was a kid, we had WOOD to play with! And it was just as dangerous as every other battery-sucker death machines you have today! You had to be careful of rusty nails and splinters. Deadly spiders and ticks were everywhere! But did we complain? Only the brats... so yeah, I did complain. But, at least we had something to complain about! Kids these days just rant about "How their Barbie doll has a G.I. Joe voice" and how they got "Lead Poisoning from their Thomas the Tank Engine"! First off, what's so bad about a Barbie with voice-machine that says cool stuff like "I'm going to kill you" and second, why are they letting your kids lick their Thomas the Tank Engine toy anyway! And on that note, who _is_ Thomas the Tank Engine? Seriously, it's their own fault they choked themselves with their Tinkertoys they got for Christmas.

"Hey, kid," Brian Groat growled (he's one of the billy goats from _The Billy Goats Gruff). _"Watch where'ya goin' next time, 'kay?"

"Umm... 'kay?" I reply staring at his Brad Pitt Style Beard (but better.) "But I don't think you know who I am, I am the king of-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know who you are. Just stop ya'h daydreaming and watch where'ya goin'! 'Kay?"

"Okay, okay, fine," I say. "But, I will report you to Titania, my mother, if you dare give me that mouth again." I'm trying to make myself sound serious... but, me? Serious? Not going to happen.

Brain snorted and spit on the floor. "Titania don't scare me. I once saw a-!"

"A troll the size of three carriages, I know, I know. You've told me before."

"Then you should know I'm not scared of no Titania. Now move, I need my sarsaparilla." He walked away and I was surprised.

Usually Brian was pretty friendly... or was it Bryce? I turn to walk the other way and see another guy with a Brad Pitt Style Beard (but better). He waves to me. I hesitantly wave back. _Okay, so Bryce is the nice one. Note to self, do not interact with Brian unless prepared for consequences... plus, his breath smells bad. If forced to engage in conversation, DO NOT BREATH IN!_ Satisfied with my new Mind Notes for a Better Future I walk towards the Golden Egg's door, but another Brad Pitt Style Beard (but better) Guy is standing near the door talking to an unusually small cyclops. _Okay... so it's either Bryce or Bruno who is the nice one..._ Sighing, I start for the door again.

"Puck!" Someone says. I turn around and see Mustardseed sitting at one of the booths. There are several folders laying open spilling out papers and what looks like a half eaten sandwich with green fuzz coming out of it. _And I thought I was the messy one!_ I walk over to him and sit. "You almost forgot your briefing... _again._ You know, I'm starting to think you purposely avoiding your briefing."

"Wouldn't _that _be a surprise..." I reply stacking the creamers on top of each other.

"Please Puck, please pay attention this time. Remember '_Operation: Park Crazie'?"_

"No, how about you '_brief' _me on it?"

"That's not funny. Stop laughing."

"It's funny to me... oh, hey Lillian!"

"Okay, enough with the jokes..." Mustardseed said. His face getting red with embarrassment.

"Awh c'mon! Why don't you just admit you like her?" I ask him.

His face gets even redder and then he knocks over my creamer tower. "Never!"

"STEPHANIE! NOOOOO!" I yell cupping the creamers in my heads and then dramatically crushing. Cream spills out and runs down my arms and my pants.

"You name your towers?"

"Yes! Don't judge me... I have problems." I look down at the table with shame... it's not easy being a teenage fairy you know.

"I could have guessed that _years _ago."

"Oh nice! Making fun of someone who has to stare at themselves in the mirror fifteens minutes everyday 'cause they are afraid they'll forget what they look like!"

"... you really _do _that?"

"... no. Anyway, can we just get this barfing-"

"Briefing."

"-briefing over with? I want to get out of here before Mum does."

"Okay... and why would you want to do that?" Mustardseed asks with a bit of suspicion.

"Oh, innocent little Mustardseed. Already fourteen and has no clue. You see, I have to go to High school, it's a dreadful place full of drama, passion, betrayal and deodorant. A place where parents think you go to learn but you're really not... and, also, parents feel the need to start bawling their eyes out -mothers- and shake your shoulder while sucking in their cheeks -fathers- and say "Ooh! You're growing up so fast!" -mothers- and "Make us proud... and get a haircut!" -fathers- on your first day... so you see, I want to avoid that episode and just get this whole thing over with."

"Okay, I understand the Mother thing, but you don't have a father, because apparently he thought it was cool to drink poisoned wine." Mustardseed exclaimed. I had a hunch he was being sarcastic but he really does it at the worst possible times.

"Which makes it all the much easier." I say with a smile. Mustardseed rolls his eyes and looks down to his paperwork.

"Hey boys!" Lillian says coming over to our table.

Lillian is a very pretty girl. Hazel eyes and dark skin, dark hair and a very nice smile. The only problem is, she's twenty, and Mustardseed is so Head-Over-Heels for her it's embarrassing.

"Very funny Puck. Imitating Lillian's voice and making me think it's her... funny, funny Puck. You know, instead of saying you were an 'honest Puck' you should have said you were an 'evil Puck.' Mustardseed says not bothering to look up.

Trying not to laugh my cheeks off, so I order some food. "Hi Lillian. Umm... I'll have my usual."

"Okay'p! Two french toast, one pancake, three sausage links, four slices of ham, fruit salad, scrambled _and _poached, one order of hash browns and breakfast crepes. Anything else, Puck?" She asks.  
It amazes me every time how she remembers all of that

"Yeah, a cup of coffee please..!" I smile mischievously.

She returns the smile. "Um, maybe not since you just crushed twenty creamers all over yourself, you seem pretty wound up to me."

"Awww, I think I deserve it! Plus, I didn't get any sleep last night." I give her the Puppy Dog Eyes, it always works on her.

"Not today. And, what about you Mustardseed?"

_Darn... she found away around my best weapon!_

"Nothing for me, thanks," Mustardseed says as he neatly puts back the papers he doesn't need and neatly place them back into on of the folders.

"Oh, but a growing boy needs his food! I'll get you Mama's special." She says picking up the menus off the table -smiling still- and head off to the kitchen with our orders. And, oh yeah, I forgot to mention she's Mother Goose's daughter. Sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, Mustardseed has a look of horror on his face, it's hysterical.

"What's up buttercup?" I ask pouring some sugar into my hand and then eating it.

"Sh-she called me a boy..." He says, eyes wide open and mouth agape.

"Well, duh, isn't that what you are?"

"B-but she won't... nevermind."

"'B-but' you think she won't like you if you're a 'boy' to her, right?"

"Right! Ugh! This is terrible!" He slams his head down on the table repeating "Terrible" over and over.

"Well, Mustardseed, you're seven years younger than her, of course she is going to call you a 'boy'" I reply. I keep pouring sugar into my hand, but it's taking forever, so I just take the lid off the sugar thing and dump it into my mouth. The cream still on my arms and pants make the sugar wet and sticky... AWESOME! "And, anyway, I thought you didn't 'like her'"

He lifts his head off the table, an imprint of The Golden Egg -which is engraved on each end of the table- is on his forehead, I try not to laugh. "Oh come on, we both know _that's _not true. It's so obvious that I like her that even the deaf and blind know!"

"That's true... okay, about my barfing?" I ask picking my teeth.

"Your briefing, and right, sorry." He picks up the papers and starts telling me a boring story about stuff that does stuff to help someplace... I'm going to have a nap with my eyes open... hope my food gets here soon... the usual...

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**Hope you enjoyed! :) Please review**

**And, I hope you liked the new layout. I couldn't find a way to make it broken down, so I had to do this :\ It'll take more time to write but it'll be worth it in the end. Again, sorry for the inconvenience**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so let's do this...**

**And, umm... since I don't live in, nor have I ever been to New York, I may not be exact on addresses and stuff.**

When I woke up, Mustardseed wasn't there and neither was my food. I suspected her punished me for not paying attention to him go on and on and on about stuff that doesn't matter to me. I lifted my head off the table and saw he left boring paperwork for me. That was new. I picked up the thin stack of papers and flipped through them... this is what they said, or, at least what I read, "_Blah, blah, yadda-yadda-yadda, Puck please attention, blah, blah, blah, I should have been an only child" _and so on. Pretty much what he says twenty-four seven.

I got up from the booth and started for the door. And then, too lately noticed that my shoes laces were tied together. I could feel my body fall and crash to the floor. Although, it didn't hurt. I stood up and almost fell again, but luckily a gigantic, furry thing (I have no idea what it was) braced me. I looked down and figured out that my laces were not tied together. Thinking it was just one of those days, I tried, once again, for the door. Then (yes, THEN) I heard my mother's voice behind me.

"OH! My little boy heading off for High school!" She cried.

I turned around and saw Mustardseed standing beside her. I wanted to kill him. Chase him out off Faerie and into the streets of New York. But I didn't. I just stood there, looking at my mother with a blank expression (I find that it makes people confused and won't bother talking to you any further.) But, today, this didn't faze her. She rushed towards me and hugged me. I struggled to get away but her grip was too strong. I let her win.

"Uuuuhh, Mum? This is just like any other, er, 'mission' I've been on. The only difference is the first word is 'high' and the second word is 'school'." I explained.

She shook her head. "Oooh, my little baby. I was talking to Mrs. Brenton and she said high school means your children are growing up and, ohh!" She started crying again. I couldn't take it.

Mrs. Brenton is my mother's best-human-friend. She uses Mrs. Brenton as her Research Dummy. Whenever Mum needs to know something about humans, she turns to Mrs. Brenton (by the way... I don't think Mrs. Brenton has a first name. And if she does, it's probably something ugly, like, Turdface or Footstench. Yepp, she's really ugly.)

I pulled away from Mum and looked her in the eyes. "Mother... I'm over four-thousand-years old... technically I should be dead by now. I think I'm 'grown-up' enough."

She shook her head again. "Tell that to your ever changing body." She stroked my cheek. "By the way, you should really start shaving."

"MUM!" I yelled, stepping away from her. "I have to go now." I turned around and started, yet again, for the door. I paused for a second. Hoping no one would interrupt me again. I opened the Golden Egg's front door and looked behind me. Mother was still crying. Mama (Mother Goose) was comforting her, and Mustardseed, my evil little brother, was waving at me evilly with an evil glare in his eyes. He was smirk evilly as well. It was a spitting image of myself when I was his age (three-thousand and something/fourteen.) I rolled my eyes. Stepping outside, I was blinded by sunlight, but the fact that it was drizzling and cloudy, I assumed I was making excuses not to go.

"C'mon Puck! It's just like any other thing you've done..." I thought aloud, causing two pedestrians to look my way, scowl, and walk faster. "I mean... just because, like...bleh, I suck at this 'Man-Up Speech' stuff." I started towards a bus stop. With each step I felt more nervous. In fact, when I approached the bus stop and saw the bus I needed was already boarding, I felt like I was going to throw up. I put a foot onto the steps of the bus, still feeling queasy.

"You OK, kid?" The bus driver asked, chomping on a big wad of pink bubblegum.

_That reminds me, I'm running out of Burst Your Bubblegum_

"Uhhhh, yeah, just... umm," I said as I put some money in the change box (I never understood why I need to pay to go on a disease infested cesspool people call transportation) and found a seat near the back. Luckily, I was alone, and it didn't seem like any fat, smelly, sweaty person was gonna hobble over to me, sit down and start panting (as it has happened, many, many, many times.) I swung my backpack off my shoulder (notice I didn't say "shoulders") and took out my cell phone from my pocket. Yes, I have a cell phone, why is that so surprising? Mum thought, if I was going to be out and about most of my natural life, I better have some kind of connection to her if I just happen to get into some kind of trouble... yep, she just realizes it now, when I'm pretty much safe, but whatever. I don't really have anyone to call on it, except Mustardseed (who receives the occasional prankcall from moi), mum (who is fascinated by simple technology) and Pizzahut... so, calling isn't really what I use it for, but, Pacman is great. I'm trying to beat the best recorded score... no luck so far, but I intend to beat it by the time my birthday comes around. And if I don't, well, there goes my New Year's Resolution.

I looked down at the screen, Selected Pacman, and started making the little quarter cut orange thing start eating the cookies and the ghost things. But only when you run over a piece of "fruit" and then the ghost become edible? Ha, so UNrealistic. But nonetheless, it keeps the quarter-cut orange from dying, so that's a plus.

I've noticed recently, that people don't like the Bleep-Bloop sound of a circle eating like a pig and square looking squids chasing the pigish circle. They'll say "Dammit kid! Shut that horrible sound off before I come over there and pound your face in!" Well, they didn't ACTUALLY say that, but it's clear on their face. It's quite hilarious and amusing. They especially like it when you start talking through all of the "characters.) "_Duuuuude, Pacman! Yo gettin' so fawt! Stop dat eatin'!" "Shut up, Blue Squiggle! He probs needs his food to become beeeeeg and stwong!" "Pink Squiggle, why do you get so protective of Pacman?... you DO know he has a wife, right?" "YELLOW SQUIBBLE! YOU DARE THINK AND SAY THAT I HAVE A CRUSH ON...!" "Guys! Shut.!Up.! I'm eating here! **chomps on a cherry**" _See? Isn't that just annoying? Oddly... I've grown attached to the little hot-headed, neurotic freaks I created. Especially Yellow Squibble, he's cool. Anyway, I've also learned that if you kind of slouch in your seat (make sure you don't get a double-chin, that's just disgusting), play Pacman on an unusually high volume level, and yell "I'm SINGLE!", you'll get a lot of dates. Umm... yeah. Aha. Me. Puck. The Trickster King, the leader of hooligans, creator of A.R.F.U. (Angry, Royal, Fairies united), the-! ARRRRGH! Sorry. Pacman just screamed at me, practically saying "IDIOT! YOU LET ME RAM ME HEAD-WHICH IS ALWAYS MY BODY-INTO A WALL AND GET STUCK! THEY ATE ME! Stop your daydreaming and PAY ATTENTION TO THE GHOSTS INFRONT OF YOU!" Probably the best advice I've gotten all day. Of course, I haven't really gotten advice today, so duuuh, the first advice I get would be the best, but whatever. I'll have to remember that for later. Might save my life. Or make a quick buck. I could stand on top of the Empire State Building with a megaphone and yell "TAKE MY ADVICE! PAY ATTENTION TO THE GHOSTS INFRONT OF YOU!" and see the people look up at the ESB and start freakin' out. That'd be pretty cool. And productive. Productive is always good, makes you feel like you accomplished something evil... or good, depending on what kind of lame-o you are.

Anyway, I just noticed this girl staring at me and chirping to her friend (I'm assuming), and giggling. Too funny. Also: SEE? That thing I was just talking about, one... two... well, a lot of words ago. It works like magic. No, seriously, I think they add some kind of enchanting stuff to cell phones. Or maybe it's just the low-level radiation? Either way, it gets quite useful. Except when they automatically add 911 to speed-dial and you're charged 250 bucks for calling Emergency when it's NOT an emergency! God, Mum threw a fit. Months allowance out the window! And with over 4,000 years of lying and devious acts, she didn't believe when I said that my phone did it by itself. Which, I guess is fair. But I want to know when I started caring about what is "fair" or not. Maybe I've caught some kind of disease or something? I really hope so. Could not stand it if I turned into some kind of pimply, over connected to my feelings, mushy teen! That'd suck. I've already lost the ability to stop eating, I don't want to lose my ability to not care!

I just realized this bus ride is extreeeemely long. It's getting boring. Also, I'm hungry. Greaaaaaaat. Don't ask why I'm longating words, I just am... FYI, I just stuck my tongue out at you. Whoever "you" is. It's starting to creep me out how I talk to myself like there's actually someone listening, reading, or watching my every move. Must be an Everafter thing. Once your life has been stuck into a book, you kind get that feeling, I guess. I'll have to ask some other Everafters if they ever get that feeling.

YEEEEEEEEEEEES the bus finally stopped! I was starting to get nauseous of the stench of years of people, sweat, and olde people (you can tell I mean OLD when I put an E.) Who would've thought a half an hour on a bus would be so hard on your legs? Felt like someone took out my bones and replaced them with Cherry Jell-O. I don't know why CHERRY specifically, but that's what it feels like. It took a while get the strength (and courage) to face 4 12-inch steps. But then I got a un-friendly shove from an old guy (see? not so old so no E) and the bus driver. Plummeting towards hard concrete, I thought for the worst; broken nose, missing teeth, and eyeball protruding out of my head. Concussion, heart attack, mono. The whole package. And just as I was about to brace myself for millenniums of ugliness, nothing happened. Except for, you know, the gasping of about 23 people. _Oh god! _I thought. _My wings popped out! I just know it! Any minute now, guys in lavender suits and pink ties will put me on a ambulance bed thing and take me a while to the centre of the earth, where they'll out me through numerous tests. They'll question me, ask me about Everafters and my killer taco spice. Chinese water torture, catapults and make me... wear... SOCKS WITH SANDALS! _On the verge of tears, no guys in lavender suits and pink ties took me to the centre of the earth. My wings we intact, folded and hidden nicely under magic or other. People gasped only because I managed to catch myself from smushing my face into cement. Which, you have to admit, is pretty cool. I guess.

I got up, brushed myself off, and walked... down the way I was walking. Sorry, I don't know the name of where I am. I never use addresses. It's always "Um yeah, I have to get to that place. You know? The one with that huge green French girl? She's holding some kind of olde century Olympics torch and wearing spears on her head?" "...the statue of Liberty?" "Oh! You know of her?" "Yeah, kid..." See? They always seem to know where you're going, if it's some kind of landmark. If it's anything else they just start laughing and kick you out of the cab. It's so rude!

The school I'm supposed to be at is called St. Incomp High. Which is just a terrible name for a highschool! "Incomp" reminds me of "incompetent" which isn't exactly what you want your students to be... but then again, I've never really been in school, so they might want exactly the opposite of what _I _thought it would've been; sharply dressed, mannered, smart students. And THAT wasn't the vibe I got when I got when I walked into St. Incomp. (Aha! I was only, like, two feet away from it! Stupid school is so small and so is the sign!)

Kids of every height, size, colour, and gender! It looked like some kind of hormonal zoo... and strangely I felt like I fit in. Which creeped me out even more, aside from that it seemed like every girl there was staring at me. I returned the stare. Newton's Law, ya know? I think... Hey! I'm not supposed to know that stuff! I am the _Trickster King_, duuhhee. While I'm thinking this, I've been rammed in the shoulder AT LEAST six times. Bleh, first day of the rest of my life and I'm already in searing pain. So, I'm making my way to the, like, office where that head guy is (with a dislocated shoulder) and see if I can't squeeze in somewhere. And then all of the sudden, this shrill sound fills the halls and every kid in the school scramble in different rooms, leaving me by myself in a beige painted hallways. I was fully expecting whistling and tumbleweeds.

"Wow... this is like, a ghost town... but it's not a town," is the only thing you'll here from before I grab the handle to WHAT I thought was the front office door, turn it, open the door, and a broom nearly falls on my head. Apparently the universe doesn't like my head/face part of me, which personally, I thought was the best (other than my charming personality and smokin' bod), but seriously? Not cool.

So? What happens when you mistake a broom closet for a principle office, have no one to ask where said office is, and forgot your iPod? Yep, pointless wandering. I remember wandering around Honolulu a couple (as in "couple", I mean at least twenty...) years ago and finding a stranded Giant Dolphin (there was only ONE left in the entire world! And as you can guess, that was it), and about fifteen buff looking guys who were obviously squished by the huge mammal. They didn't look very alive, and the dolphin didn't look very wet, but hey, made a good story. Kind of. At least Simon the Simple liked it! I'm pretty sure they made the game "Simon Says" and "Simple Simon" about him. He always used to tell us to do random stuff, such as eat a tree, or jump on one foot while sticking bugs up our noses. It isn't as fun as it sounds...

I should really write Simon a letter. I bet sixty bucks he's in Turkey... telling them to eat turkey.

**Okay, not the best chapter, but three is gonna be pretty awesome. I have that one planned out almost perfectly, this one I was just wingin' it, lol.**

**Don't forget to check out my Facebook! NeverTrustACrookedMirror. Story updates, illustrations, and the random randomness. **

**pEaCe**


	3. Chapter 3

_So, I've been wandering around for at least ten minutes and this is what I found out;_

_1) If you poke a bruise long enough it WILL get numb and worse… do not attempt at home, kids._

_2) If you're in a school, just wandering around, with out a thing called a "hall pass", a teacher WILL stop you and ask you where your hallpass is. This is how it went down. I was lying in the middle of a hallway, when this stumpy looking guy hobbles and says "Hallpass?" I asked him what that meant, he said stop fooling around and hand my hallpass. I handed him a twenty._

_3) Pink tiles means it's a girls bathroom, blue means boys._

_4) When you encounter a stinky thing called an "educator", ask them where the principle's office is before you hand him a twenty. Now I only have forty bucks and I'm still just wandering…around…_

I met a girl, too. I don't know her name, but I do know that she speaks her mind and knows I'm new;

"Lemme guess, you're lost?" She asked.

"Yeeeeeeah…" I said.

"You new?" She asked and walked over to me. I got to get a good look at her. About elbow length black-ish brown-ish hair, big brown eyes, pale skin, pretty tall, and a button nose. She looked really familiar… and I also made the decision that she wasn't a Personnel Monkey and was indeed a student.

"…yeah… did you do some master prank to get garbage duty?" I replied.

"Main office is that way," she said pointing down the hall. "And no. Actually, I was making a stand. Letting people hear a new opinion. Turns out, they don't like girls who speak their mind here."

"Riiight," I said avoiding any more awkward conversation. "Well… I better get going." I started going down the direction she pointed to, when she said "Hey Blondie! Welcome to Hell." and walked away.

"What a sad little person," I said to myself.

If I were to ever open a school, I'd hand out maps to every student. But luckily, the girl's "directions" help a lot. I also spotted the gym. Intrigued, I decided to sneak a peek to see what was going on. Guys in bulky looking gear watched girls in skimpy uniforms do flips and flops in the air. There were also guys doing flips, too. I had only ever seen something like it on TV, they called it "Make It or Break It." I watched them do make it or break it until another bell rang and they all got their stuff together and started their way out. And that's when I noticed this HULK grab one of the tinniest girls I've ever seen by the waist and drag her towards him. She got on her tippytoes and kissed him. The gum she was chewing was now in the mouth of the Teenage Hulk. I was about to hurl.

"Can I help you, young man?" Said a voice behind me.

_Oh god… another "educator"! _

I turned and saw a woman in about her forties, wearing a silk lavender blouse and grey pencil skirt. Her hair black and grey streaked was up in a messy bun. "It depends. Are you Principle… Prince?" (I don't know if I've mentioned this before, that's the principle's REAL last name!)

She sighed like she was relieved and replied "No, I'm Vice-Prinicple Chelsea Herman."

"Ah, I'm sixteen-year-old Robin Goodfellow," I said. I meant to think that, but apparently I didn't… too later.

"Oh! You're our new student! Your mother called earlier, apologizing that she couldn't come today, to sign papers and junk. Have you check in yet?" She asked. Since she said "papers and junk" I'm starting to like her. Not your typical _EDUCATOR. _I'm going to count how many times I've thought that word today… so far it's been three times. Not including the times I've said it aloud. Put it all together and it's about sixteen times. Yes, indeed I was walking up and down the school saying "ed-u-cator"… seventeen.

"Well, actually Chelsea, to be honest I haven't even-!" I said. Then I felt a gym door slam into my back and I fell face first onto hard white-painted concrete floors. I could feel blood rushing to my head and escaping my nose. I couldn't really hear anything right then because I was too busy trying to keep myself from screaming out in pain and bleeding to death, but once Chelsea, Hulk, Teeny-Weeny, and their friends helped me to the "infirmary" (DAMN THE SCHOOLS ARE THEIR STUPID SOUNDING WORDS) I could let my brain focus on my ears.

"Dude! I'm so sorry! I didn't think you weren't gonna move!" Hulk said.

_Aw man! He's sounds like some kind of cartoon goon!_

"It's OK, I'm fine," I said, trying to make sure I don't make a guy who looks like he's descendant of King Kong drown everyone from New York to California in tears.

"Mr. Goodfellow, I'm afraid you have a broken nose," Nurse Gregory said. Great, here comes the waterworks! Where's my ark?

Hulk turned to Teeny-Weeny and said, "H-honey buns, I have to go. I-I can't see blood, or I'll spazz out! I-I'll talk to you later, okay sweetycakes?" He kissed her on the forehead and burst out of the "infirmary." Great x2! I have another word I'll have to count… "infirmary." How many times is that? Three? Man. Oh! And how many times have I fallen/almost fallen today? I wonder if they're all linked. "Huh… so he's a _sensitive _hulk?"

"Excuse me?" Teeny-Weeny retorted. "What did you just say about my boo?"

"..I just said he's sensitive. Isn't that what girls look for in a hu- I mean guy? Sensitivity?"

"Well duh!" She said. I swore I saw a smirk, but I wouldn't place a bet on it.

"Maybe, finding a date for girls is like shopping for toothpaste. 'Have good, healthy teeth? Try new-"

"Freddie Herbert." She said laughing. "'Try new Freddie Herbert toothpaste! Guaranteed to bring the sensitivity you want and deserve to your smile!' You're new, right?"

"Yep. Robin Goodfellow. You?"

"Sabrina. Sabrina Grimm."

**I had a scare with this chapter. I didn't notice that it got saved in my iPod (don't ask how that happened…) and I thought it didn't save and I FREAKED! I was seriously on the verge on the verge of tears. I did NOT want to rewrite the whole thing! I am SO grateful it saved! Therefore, this chapter is a miracle. **

**pEacE, Rae.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chaptah four!**

**PS. I noticed a typo in the last chapter. HOW THE HECK DIDN'T I NOTICE IT BEFORE?**

As if being a newbie wasn't bad enough! Try being one that has a cast thing that smells like century old crackers and hollandaise sauce keeping your nose intact (or "intact" to the human eye because since I'm a fairy, it's already healed.)

In conclusion, today sucked.

Talked to that Sabrina girl a little more and managed to get some School Safety tips and facts;

1) "Freddie" (I call him Fred H. for 2 reasons. 1, I'm not going to call him Freddie because sounds WAY too much like that guy on Scooby-Doo with the same name who was obsessed with traps… 2, his actually last name is Herbert which starts with an H and since he reminds me of the Incredible Hulk [which also starts with an H], therefore, he shall be known as Fred H. Or maybe F.H. I'll decide later) is a nice guy, really friendly, caring, likes to cry… but Sabrina said if anyone tries to mess with "his girl", which I guess is Sabrina, he will become a real hulk. She ended it with a wink. I got scared.

2) There a five kids of loners at Incomp High. The ones who have friends but prefer not to hang out with them (they're usually texting.) The ones who call themselves loners because they just don't like the Populars (Sabrina, Fred H., and they're friend) so they figure they're loners. The ones who are in fact REAL loners and just come to Incomp to get papers filed HOMESCHOOLED. The ones who act like normal people but are incredibly shy. And finally, the one I met in the hall dragging around a portable garbage bin. Her name is Daphne and she is actually Sabrina's sister. Whose five years younger than Sabrina… I asked who they could both be in the same _HIGH_school when Sabrina answered "She's a genius." I'm not exactly sure that whole "Imma genius, Imma going to skip five grades" and "Imma normal idiot, Imma going to repeat first grade" thing works, but it didn't really make any since to me. So I took Sabrina's word for it and decided that Daphne Grimm is indeed the next Albert Einstein.

3) Daphne isn't really friends with anyone (I felt kinda bad for her…), she goes to protests (Women's Rights, WSPA [because "PETA is too corporate" she says], she goes shopping, and reads real crime books because she wants to become an FBI agent or somekind of career that involves anything mind puzzling. Sabrina said it's hard for her to think that they're sisters. Sabrina is so preppy and colourful, Daphne is so… well, mysterious and dark. Not exactly Emo because Sabrina said she WILL laugh from time to time.

4) I should call Sabrina. She gave me her number. I threw it out. The image of a chronic-crying Hulk ripping me from limb to limb still haunts me head.

She said a whole bunch of other stuff, but those were the only ones where I was kinda listening.

When I got home I instantly took off my cracker-and-hollandaise smelling cast off and made a beeline to my room. Threw my bag on my bed and laid on the floor for a while. I have this weird obsession with floors and laying on them.

I was trying to get myself to do the truck-load of "homework" that the EDUCATORS gave me. I got extra because I broke my nose on school property and they thought I would need something to do… so they gave me homework… oh yeah! That's gonna stop the pain!

I got up and sat on my bed, opening up my bag, and pulling out the dead tree chopped up finely and thinly and looked it over.

_Mathematics, history, science, blah, blah, blah, blah… _

Can't believe parents pay good money to make their kids learn more about a gender that isn't even theirs!

_Later_

I decided to "study" history. But how am I supposed to know who yelled "WAR" for the first time ever? War has been going on since my grandfather was still calling some olde dude "Grandpa." In fact, it's VERY possible that the very first person to ever whack another person with a mallet or gun or whatever was probably named Oog! Or maybe Martha… depends how Brainiacky they were. But I doubt someone who was in the time where fire was an amazing discovery would declare war so they could see everyone they loved die… wait… _In the time where fire was an amazing discovery… _Yeah, I take back what I said about them probably not do that. They probably did.

Mustardseed barged in while I was on PAGE SIX of American History and said "The first president was Abraham Lincoln!"

"No he wasn't!" I replied, slamming the almost thousand-page work "pamphlet" (can you believe they actually called it a pamphlet? They said since I'm new I should be taken easy on…)

"He wasn't?" Mustardseed said sounding like he just found out he'll never have a girlfriend because he's way too proper.

"Nope," I said trying to amaze him with my smarts.

"Then who was?"

"I dunno, some dude," I said. I immediately figured out that that wasn't what I meant by "smart."

"Wow…" he said looking amazed…but not in the way I wanted. "You didn't actually learn anything there! You LOST something! Aha"

"…." Me. Out of words. Or rather, trying not to sound stupid again.

"C'mon! You KNEW George Washington! You were there when he was elected…" he said.

"Oh. Right. But, uh, I did LEARN something!" Mustardseed's eyes light up. "Yeah, I learned that pink tiles mean-!"

"Yeah, whatever. When you're done learning about the messes you made while these guys were alive, mum wants to see you."

"What does she want?"

"I don't know, but she seems upset."

_Greeeeeeat._


End file.
